How Can I Get Over a Breakup: A Powerful Journey Back to Yourself

Alright, let’s settle in for a moment.
Breakups aren’t just “sad endings.” They’re full-body experiences — emotional, energetic, nervous-system level ruptures that shake the ground you’ve been standing on. If you’re Googling how can I get over a breakup, chances are you’re somewhere between heartache, confusion, numbness, and maybe a tiny spark of “I want to feel okay again.”

And hey that’s enough.
That little spark is how healing begins.

This whole blog is built from a lived place the same emotional rubble I once crawled through. What happened for me wasn’t a neat “10-step healing plan.” It was messy, human, and real but it worked. And that’s what I want for you: healing that feels real, not theoretical.

Let’s walk through this together slowly, honestly, and in a way that helps your heart soften instead of shut down.

1. Understanding Why Breakups Hurt So Deeply

Before we talk about how to get over a breakup, we need to honour what’s actually happening inside you.

A breakup isn’t simply “losing a person.”
It’s losing a rhythm.
A future.
A version of yourself.
A sense of safety.

Your nervous system has been wired around a relationship and suddenly you’re trying to rewire yourself in mid-air.

This is why your heart races, why you can’t sleep, why food tastes different, why memories hit you in waves. Nothing is “wrong” with you. Your body is recalibrating.

If you want a deeper look into this emotional-energetic process, explore the Soul School blogs here:
https://soulschool.au/blog-masonry/

2. Step One: Feel Your Feelings Without “Fixing” Them

I’ll tell you something most self-help avoids:
You can’t skip grief.

Trying to “stay positive” too early is like slapping a motivational sticker on a crack in the wall. You’re allowed to feel devastated. You’re allowed to feel angry. You’re allowed to feel relieved. You’re allowed to feel nothing.

Let it move through you.

A simple grounding practice:
Sit.
Place one hand on your heart.
One hand on your belly.
Say:
“I’m here. I’m safe. I’m allowed to feel this.”

If you want a guided space for meditation and emotional release, explore:
https://soulschool.au/chakra-meditation-healing/

3. Step Two: Stop Romanticising What Wasn’t Working

The mind loves to replay the highlight reel.
But remember: you didn’t break up because everything was perfect.

Breakups happen for a reason, even if the reason was hidden behind fear, exhaustion, trauma patterns, or repeating cycles.

You’re not losing the person you’re losing the version of yourself that needed them.

And that is actually a release.

Want to understand emotional cycles more deeply?
Have a read through Revti’s story:
https://soulschool.au/revtis-journey/

4. Step Three: Rebuild Your Nervous System First

No one talks about this, but your emotional healing depends on your nervous system stabilising.

When you’re heartbroken, your body stays in fight-or-flight.
You feel on edge, restless, or numb.

Here’s what helps:

slow, rhythmic breathing
a daily grounding ritual (even 5 minutes)
warm showers
walking without your phone
eating regularly
gentle self-touch (hand over heart, belly, neck)

This is the foundation of getting over a breakup not forcing yourself to “move on,” but giving your body safety again.

If you want structured guidance in emotional and nervous system regulation, explore:
https://soulschool.au/signature-12-week-mentorship/

5. Step Four: Detox From Dopamine (Yes, Really)

Breakups mess with your brain chemistry.
Your mind keeps craving:

checking their profile
re-reading old messages
fantasising what they’re doing
“just one” attempt to reconnect
replaying conversations you could “fix”

These are dopamine loops, not intuition.

A practical boundary:
24–48 hours without looking at anything related to them.
Then extend it weekly.

Every time you resist the urge, you regain a piece of yourself.

6. Step Five: Rebuild Your Identity Outside the Relationship

Here’s the truth:
You’re not grieving the person you’re grieving the version of yourself who existed with them.

Now you get to ask:

Who am I becoming now?
What do I want to feel like?
What kind of love do I deserve?
How do I want to live?

Breakups force us into identity rebirths.
Painful, yes.
But powerful.

This is the work Soul School was literally built for:
helping people reconnect to purpose after emotional collapse.

Explore your next step here:
https://soulschool.au/1-o-1-coaching/

7. Step Six: Replace “Why did this happen?” with “What is this opening?”

This is where everything shifts.

Breakups close doors, but they also open rooms you didn’t know existed:

space for self-worth
space for clarity
space for boundaries
space for aligned love
space for purpose
space to meet yourself honestly

Your life isn’t collapsing it’s redirecting.

Trust the redirection, even if you can’t see where it’s leading yet.

8. Step Seven: Build Supportive Rituals that Nourish You

Healing isn’t one “big” moment — it’s tiny daily choices.

Try:

journaling at the same time every morning
grounding meditation at night
weekly check-in with yourself
moving your body gently (walking, stretching, yoga)
creating space at home that feels like you

If you want inspiration and emotional resources, explore the Soul School library:
https://soulschool.au/

9. Step Eight: Let Your Heart Believe in Love Again Slowly

You don’t have to “date again quickly.”
You don’t have to “be strong.”
You don’t have to convince anyone you’re okay.

Your heart will open again, naturally, when it’s ready.

And when it does…
you will love from a more grounded, conscious, emotionally resourced place.

This isn’t the end.
It’s the beginning of the version of you that doesn’t abandon yourself for love.

A Quick FAQ About Breakup Healing

How long should it take to get over a breakup?
There’s no timeline. It depends on emotional attachment, trauma patterns, nervous system sensitivity, and support.

Should I reach out to them?
If you’re still emotionally activated, the answer is usually no.

Why does it hurt even if I ended the relationship?
Because loss is loss. And our bodies don’t distinguish between “chosen” and “forced” endings.

If You’re Still Asking “How Can I Get Over a Breakup?” Here’s Your Next Step

Healing is possible truly.
Not in a fluffy “time heals” kind of way, but in a grounded, nervous-system-rooted, emotionally empowered way.

You don’t have to do this alone.

If you want one-on-one guidance, support, emotional recalibration, or a space designed for deep inner rebuilding, reach out here:
https://soulschool.au/contact-me/

Or explore Revti’s personal letter to anyone moving through emotional hardship:
https://soulschool.au/a-letter-from-revti-to-you/

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