How to Help Someone Get Over a Breakup: A Compassionate, Powerful Guide to Supporting Their Healing

1. First, Understand What They’re Going Through on a Deeper Level

Before you help, you need to understand what’s happening inside them.

A breakup is a full-system shutdown:

their nervous system is dysregulated
their identity feels shaken
their routine is disrupted
their emotional safety is gone
their future vision collapsed
their sense of belonging is fragmented

This isn’t “just sadness.”
It’s grief. It’s shock. It’s withdrawal from emotional attachment. It’s the body trying to rewire itself after losing its source of emotional rhythm.

This is why you may see them:

unable to sleep
unable to eat or overeating
crying suddenly
obsessively checking their ex’s profile
replaying conversations
questioning their self-worth
swinging between anger and longing

Your job isn’t to fix these reactions.
Your job is to understand them.

If you want more insight into emotional healing, this resource helps:
https://soulschool.au/blog-masonry/

2. What to Say When They’re Heartbroken

What helps:

“I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.”
“You don’t need to be okay right now.”
“You’re allowed to feel everything you’re feeling.”
“Take it at your own pace.”
“You’re safe with me.”

What doesn’t help:

“You’ll get over it.”
“There’s someone better out there.”
“Just stay positive.”
“It wasn’t meant to be.”
“You should be happy it ended.”

People in heartbreak don’t need perspective yet — they need presence.

If they’re open to a supportive spiritual perspective, you can gently guide them to:
https://soulschool.au/a-letter-from-revti-to-you/

3. Help Them Regulate Their Nervous System

When someone is grieving a breakup, their emotional system is in survival mode.
The best support you can offer?
Help them feel safe again.

You can gently guide them toward regulating activities like:

deep, slow breathing
warm food
grounding walks
sitting with their feet on the earth
a warm shower
slow yoga or stretching
resting without pressure

Sit with them quietly. Let the silence do its work.

If they’re open to practices that heal the emotional-energetic system, introduce them to:
https://soulschool.au/chakra-meditation-healing/

4. Encourage Them to Feel Their Feelings Without Judgement

Heartbreak brings grief, anger, confusion, longing, numbness — sometimes all in one day.

Your job is to gently allow space for these emotions.
Not fix them.
Not redirect them.
Not judge them.

Maybe they need to cry.
Maybe they need to talk.
Maybe they need to sit in silence.
Maybe they need to sleep.

Let them.

The more permission they feel, the faster they’ll release what’s stuck.

5. Don’t Feed the “Why Did This Happen?” Loop

People experiencing heartbreak often spiral into:

“What did I do wrong?”
“Why wasn’t I enough?”
“What if I tried harder?”
“What if this is my fault?”
“What if they change their mind?”

You can’t let them stay there.

Gently ground them:
“I hear your pain. But your worth isn’t up for negotiation.”
“You’re not responsible for someone else’s emotional capacity.”
“You showed up with the love you had. That’s enough.”

If they’re ready to hear a deeper, empowering perspective, share this journey:
https://soulschool.au/revtis-journey/

6. Support Them Through the Dopamine Withdrawal

Breakups can feel like addiction withdrawal.
The brain wants to check:

texts
photos
social media
old memories
“just one message”

You can support them by:

distracting them when they feel the urge to check
gently encouraging phone boundaries
going for a walk when they want to stalk their ex online
holding them accountable to things they want (not what you want)

And if they relapse that’s normal.
Don’t shame them.
Just bring them back.

7. Help Them Rebuild a Routine Slowly

Breakups destroy structure.
A solid routine rebuilds safety.

Help them reintroduce:

consistent meals
sleep routines
a daily walk
morning grounding
gentle connection with people
hobbies they abandoned in the relationship

If they want a guided rebuilding process, this mentorship is designed for emotional reconstruction:
https://soulschool.au/signature-12-week-mentorship/

8. Remind Them of Who They Were Before the Relationship

Breakups create identity loss.

Help them remember:

their strengths
their passions
their dreams
their purpose
their friendships
their inner fire

Say things like:
“I remember how much you lit up when you talked about…”
“You’re still the person who…”
“You’ve always been someone who…”

Identity rebuilding is one of the most powerful forms of support.

9. Encourage Professional Support

You’re not their therapist.
You shouldn’t carry all the emotional weight.
And sometimes heartbreak unravels deeper things — old trauma, abandonment wounds, or self-worth patterns.

A grounded, lived-experience-based space can help them heal deeply.

Invite them here (gently, not forcefully):
https://soulschool.au/1-o-1-coaching/

Or suggest they connect through:
https://soulschool.au/contact-me/

10. Protect Your Own Energy While Helping Them

Supporting someone through heartbreak is heavy.
If you burn out, you can’t help them.

You’re allowed to:

take breaks
set boundaries
protect your peace
step away to recharge
ask them to reach out to other people too

You don’t need to be their only lifeline.
You just need to be one of the safe ones.

11. The Most Important Thing: Believe in Their Future

When people are heartbroken, they lose the ability to imagine a future that feels good.
That’s where you come in.

You don’t need to tell them it’ll all work out just hold the vision quietly.

Let your energy say:
“You’re going to rise from this.”
“You’re becoming someone stronger.”
“This isn’t the end — it’s a rebirth.”

They’ll feel it, even if you never say it aloud.

If You’re Still Wondering How to Help Someone Get Over a Breakup

The best support you can offer is presence, not pressure.
Compassion, not advice.
Stability, not solutions.
A slow, calm nervous system, not big emotional reactions.

Healing after heartbreak is absolutely possible and sometimes, the right support changes everything.

If your friend needs a safe space for deep emotional healing, purpose reconnection, and nervous system resetting, share this with them:

Start here:
https://soulschool.au/about-us-01/

Or explore private support:
https://soulschool.au/contact-me/

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